"I give full custody of Essence Latdale to her father, Brad Latdale. Essence will be allowed to be with her mother, June Patt-Latdale, on holidays. Essence will only be with Ms. Latdale if Ms. Latdale is not under the influence of alcohol. Thank you. Court is adjourned."

I can't believe my parents got a divorce. At first they seemed so in love, but now they're torn apart and they've left me dangling in the middle of all the shattered pieces which used to be our happy life together a couple of years ago. That was until my mother became a hard core alcoholic. My dad tried so many times to help her with her problem but she just wouldn't listen. That's when the fights started. I would lie in the darkness of my room at night and pray to God that my mother would make it home alright. But when she got home she and my dad would get into a fight. I would hear hollering and shattering of glass, so I would crawl deeper under my covers trying to find comfort and security.

"Come on Essence, get your bags packed, you have to be out of here no later than tonight," my dad said to me as he helped me shove jeans and t-shirts into a huge duffel bag.

"I hope mom will be alright. Do you think she'll be okay?"

"Yes she will. I'm sure she will. She's starting her rehab tonight and she'd better be there. I'm not putting up with her anymore! I'm sick and tired of seeing her wasting her life! I can't stand it anymore! She makes me so mad sometimes, I just want to..."

"Dad stop it! It's over! I can't believe you're even saying that. You guys got a divorce and you say that it would be better for you and her. Were you thinking of me when you said that? What am I supposed to do now? Pretend nothing happened and go on with my life? It's not as easy as it looks. How do you think I feel?" When I turned around to look at my father I saw my mother standing in the doorway with tears falling down her face. I turned to my dad and he was crying too. "Let's go dad. I need to get out of this pathetic place. No offense mom. See you at Thanksgiving."

I felt my life was gone! I wasn't going to see my mother for a month and a half. I hoped she'd be sobered up by then. If she was sober for three months I would be able to see her on weekends too if I wanted to. It was so hard to choose between my mom and dad. I love them both very much and I didn't want to lose them. We'd just have to wait and see how things turned out.

The night before Thanksgiving my mom called. She said that she had all the food and ingredients ready for the feast. I asked her if dad could come along so we could have a family dinner like we used to, and she bit my head off! She said her parents and her brother's family would be there, and they would make up the family part. After a while she wanted to speak to my father. He asked me to leave the room, but I could still hear him shouting at her. Then I heard the phone slam down and he came stomping into the living room. I was scared, too scared to ask any questions.

"Come on Essence. I have to drop you off at June's house," he told me abruptly. "I hope you have fun."

"I wish you could come and have dinner with us," I replied sympathetically. "It's going to be so weird without you. What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to fly up to Boston and spend the holiday with my parents. I'll be back on Sunday to pick you up.

I guess things won't be as bad as I thought, but I sure do hate living in-between my parents. It makes me feel like I am two different people.