5/14/89-- The day passed very slowly, and I can't believe that school is almost at end for the summer. Last week I just turned 15. It was a pretty lame birthday party, but that evening a bunch of my friends and I went out for some pizza. After we finished our pizza we went to a movie. There is a lot of pressure to keep up in school and stay popular. I have a lot of friends in school. I try hard to be liked by the boys, but sometimes it feels as though Fm pushing myself to the limits.

Some of my classes are going okay for me but the others are giving me a tough time and seem pretty lame. I really like this guy, but he's a junior. I want him to really like me, so tonight my friends and some of his are going to go out and have a good time. This is my chance to go out and get to know him a little better.

In the afternoon my friend Sarah came over to pick me up. First we went to pick up Kacy at her place and then to get Jessie. Then we headed towards the mall where we were supposed to meet the guys. That evening I really got to know Mike, and he seemed like a pretty nice guy. I wanted to ask him out but I was pretty scared. So I'll let it go for awhile.

5/23/89--Well, just a couple more weeks until school gets out for the summer break. School is finally going smoothly for me. I've been hanging out with Mike lately, and we've become very good friends now. But I still want to ask him out before any other girl claims him. We've been going out to the mall together. A couple of my friends even suggested that I ask him out but I guess I'll wait until school gets out for the break.

6/22/89--Summer is finally here and I've been spending a lot more time with Mike. We've been going out to the movies a lot, and we also went out to a couple of parties together. That's the first time I had been pressured to try some alcohol and drugs. Mike was cool about it, though, and he didn't force me to take any of them. But I tried alcohol and I got pretty messed up and really started to talk with Mike about personal stuff. The next day I called to apologize to Mike for acting so stupid. He was okay with it and then I asked him out again. He said yes, and I was pretty excited.

8/1/89--All June and July I spent most of my time with Mike. I wanted to please him so I had sex a couple of times with him. But I told him that he had to use protection. I also hung out with my friends. Then around mid-July we went to another party. The party was really jammin', and I had a few drinks, and Mike himself was already pretty high. We then went into one of the bedrooms and started making love. We left the party early and went back to his place. Just when we were about to have sex again when I asked if he had a condom. But he said not to worry cause nothing would happen.

9/17/89--Last week I decided to go and have a check up because I was pretty worried that I might have an S.T.D. The doctor said that he would be giving me an H.I.V. test. He explained a lot of facts about the disease to me, saying that it was spreading more rapidly through sexual contact. After all the testing was done he told me to come back in a week.

9/24/89, Throughout the week I spent very little time with Mike and I was very scared to tell him I went to have a check-up because I didn't want to offend him. I mostly hung out with my best friends and told them all about what had happened and that I went and had a check-up. They said it was best for me and that it was one way to keep my body healthy.

9/25/89--When the bad news hit me, it felt as if my lite had come to a complete end! The doctor said that I had H.I.V., the virus that causes AIDS. Right after I got home I told my parents about it. I was pretty scared to tell them but it had to be done. They were pretty mad at me but they were especially mad at Mike. I had to call him and tell him the bad news. So he went and got himself checked and it turned out that he had the virus too. I was so angry with him I didn't talk to him for a month.

10/12/89-- When the school year started up again I was depressed. I didn't know what to do, but I knew that I had to be a strong and positive thinker it I wanted to live long. I was chosen by the National AIDS Research Foundation to be an educator arid a spokesperson on AIDS. I traveled all over the country educating people both young arid old about the facts on AIDS. I also started my monthly check-ups. And my parents are dealing with my disease a little better now. I haven't seen Mike around, and I'm mostly hangiiig out with my two closest friends, Sarah arid Jessie. During my last check up my doctor said that I would probably live fairly long but he's not so sure. I'm planning to attend college just in case I might make it, but that^ts still a slim chance. I always try to keep busy.

Fred Alstrom